just saying...

im guessing if you have a blog you suppose to use it right lol lol well here it goes. i guess there comes a point in your life when you have to either like yourself no matter what or probably adhere to some of the criticism people are slowly saying about you and when it becomes repetative thats a red flag. so where did this all come from ? the fact that over the past year especially the past few months everyone i know has attacked my character so it has me thinking. its crazy cuz im a cool guy fun to be around to be with (so ive been told) but everyone says the same thing: i do to much for other people. i guess outside looking in it probably seems that way and for the concern of those around me thank you i truely appreciate it. its just that not everyone knows everyones situations. it just so happens that inbedded in my character is the "flaw", as ive been told as it is, that if your down with no one to turn to, if wimbley's got it wimbley's got you. there are times where i have had to do things above and beyond the call of duty. why ? because thats me and thats how i view friendship. i do unto others as i would have them do unto me yet in my mind i know they wont do unto me like i can do unto them. and i dont have a problem with that. despite the messed up situations ive been in ( another blog for another day cuz i gotta lot to say on that) ive been blessed and by being blessed ive been able to hold my own and also hold down others. now its crazy as people tell me what they would and wouldnt do and for this person and how they'd be like "oh well" but im not like that. since i was little i always wanted to be like jesus. (i'm not a church boy doesnt mean i dont have any faith) he helped out those who either couldnt do anything for him, those who turned there backs on him, and those who didnt give a damn. im not the person to be like well i know you cant do for me like i can do for you so screw you. if i did that what type of person would i be. i dont think i'd be wimbley anymore i think i'd fit into the regular norm that majority of this world seems to have. i guess its like i came from nothing, young very poor and i stuggled damn it and ive been hustling this game of life ever since. now im still struggling but i see more sunshine than grey clouds. so i hate to see people struggle most people didnt come from the bottom of the barrel im climbing out of so to be able to help someone out feels good because alot of people are going through things ive been through so i know how it feels i know how it hurts and i dont want people to feel the pain on any level that i have. so when i all boils down to it these attacks on my character are a bit surprising to me but not really. i guess the thing that hurts is just that the people doing the attacking are the ones ive helped out numerous times and i never ask for anything in return, but again i take it as people looking out for my best interest. look it just boils down to i want everyone to be happy and if i can help people acheive some sort of happiness, a happiness i wasnt able to have myself, then guess what imma do it. ive lived 25 years of hell and havent been brought down yet, people want me to be ( for lack of better words) this up tight kinda snoody bitch and im sorry thats not me. yeah i went to college, yeah im in grad school, yeah i have a decent job, and im a lil cute, soooooooo since i have all that that means im suppose to change who i am, sorry but im not falling into that category because im no better than any one else and i dont feel like im better than anyone else so why should i treat people like they are beneath me. not my style not me kid, and im sure if i would be that (bitch) then i would be funny acting, and if i stop helping people like i feel is part of my mission in life somehow to do, then i wouldnt be able to live with myself so i dont know maybe i do need to stop being me, if to many people say the same thing maybe i am wrong in the way i view things who knows, but hey im just saying....