i had a private party... NO NOT THAT KINDA PARTY GEEEEX PERVES !!! LMAO

sooo i woke up today and i felt different for the first time in a month. i jumped up turned on the t.v. made my oatmeal ( im such a old man) and danced to some music. i was care free, energetic, wanting to get out and have fun, i was wimbley. i set up most of the previous night praying and re reading what i had wrote. i came to realize you become what you want your self to be. i wrote about the worse case scenario of being bitter and becoming scared and not knowing whats going on with my heart. all of those things which are true were how i felt then. you see i had to put myself on the "oprah" couch and listen to myself and i was like seriously chris i mean "seriously" i took a trip back down memory lane and realized if life didnt make me stop moving on then why would i even entertain the idea of letting it start now. so im not. i woke up this morning in a new frame of mind, my old frame of mind, which is no matter whats thrown at me, what happens to me, who happens to me, no matter how fucked up something maybe, it wont stop me. im built head strong and i thank god for that. ive been told i have a strength in me that others have yet to understand. but to those i say thats because you let people and life get you down. besides being here to do what i want, to accomplish my goals set forth, i also have amission which i dont know if its started or when it does but im ready. im a helper, a listener, and some how through the words that i can write and say im also a healer. so many people have felt better mentally and physically from things ive said and it makes me feel good. i only like to speak the truth weather people think i am or not truely i dont give a shit what you think (thanks). i woke up knowing what needs to be done, what in me needs to change, where the nice guy should stop, and where the nice guy doesnt end. on a more important note me and me heart ( wave hi to the folks in blog land heart) had a great convo and he told me its time and i agree because the one thing i cant do is carry hate in me, not my style. some think its foolish but i dont i have no time cuz i have things to do. so this is dedicated to those out there( family, friends,lovers, whoever) who feel or know that i have some type of hate, resentment, dislike, anything negative towards you. consider it there no longer. now we know what happened but im not gone let it stop life or hold me down. things happen for some odd reason and i can say that over the past few weeks ive been doing my thinking and yeah the end result is my usual. let it go to fly away free. i will always have the memories in my mind of everything, hell who doesnt, but i can forgive and not forget yet just because i dont forget means that imma be that "bitch" from the previous blogs towards you. naah its not wimbley's style. see i almost fell into the trap of what people think of the way i go about things and to an extent i listened and now i know because i talked it over with the man upstairs ( i know he is tired of me lol) so yeah personally i got some changes happening and thats ok i will be happy with these changes which are going into affect as we speak but for the most part of staying me. so to all of you who think im stupid, crazy, dumb for anything that i do. thank you. with out people like all of you i wouldnt be me ( and no im not saying that negatively). so yeah its me, and im back to loving me because happiness in life truely begins when you love yourself and i love all the fat parts of me lmao but seriously im here and im here for everyone. of course im sure i wll have more bad days, more sad days, more upsetting situatations but thats life and there's nothing i can do about it but take them as they come deal with them all the while trying to set my shit up to make sure that imma be ok. soo the listener, the goofy, the dummy, the jokster, the espiring poet and song writer,the therapist(lol), the blogger, the helper,the friend is here to stay he almost left was about to do a big 360 but why. espcially when 99.9 % of people dont get it anyway so why would i do a whole change based off what others say when i think i was doing fine before then sooooo with a few personal tweeks i think imma be fine after because i even said it myself i fall into a minority of folks who care and i dont like the way the majority act soo why join them ?????