Saturday, January 17, 2009
Dating ?!?!?!?!?!? really ?!?!?!?!?!?!
BLOGGY !!!!!!! hey i missed you !!! lol lol this is our first blog of 2009 check that out huh well blog i come to you today with something that i found interesting. so i was on a 3 way call with some friends of mine from the college days and we got to talking about relationships(the monogamous dating aspect of it). i thought what they had to say was interesting because it isnt the first time that ive heard this. one of the topics was how to treat your mate. now i thought this was intersting because i was slightly laughed at but in my personal opinion i think you should treat your mate like they're on top of the world. be there when they need you, make them feel special, just let your mate know and show your mate that yeah i do love you and there are times where you will have to go above and beyond the call of duty for your mate but hey it really shouldnt be a problem unless you were told otherwise about the situation but yet in still you do it ya know. i could go further into what else i thought about relationships in that respect but im not lol... well i was told that i was crazy and i thought this was interesting. i was told you cant give your mate the world and make them feel like they are on top because thats when they tend to not worry about you. thats when your relationship turns into they automatically expect you to do this and that because you have placed them on a pedestal and they arent coming off of it no time soon because you have in a way fucked yourself over.( im like oh wow ya know lol) then i was told you cant to much go above and beyond the call of duty for your mate because thats when they will again fuck you over because if you do it to many times once again they gone expect it all the time. and when doing things like this for your mate thats when the relationship no longer is about the both of you it becomes about them. and with you doing so much to get your relationship on top and keep it going your mate will more than likely begin to lie, act bogus towards you, blame actions on other things, and even cheat. now i was kinda taken back by all this because this isnt the first set of people who ive heard this from about there views on relationships. of course they said they are there for there mates and love them dearly will almost do anything for them (notice i said almost) but there is a line that you draw and once some years go past you slowly move the line. now honestly this was interesting. so now it has me to thinking is this what society has come to ? ive taked to people from all walks of life and majority say basically the same thing. i mean seriously is that what you have to do now, love 100 percent but not be there 100 percent and not do things 100 percent because in doing so your mate is gonna fuck you over. another one of my friends he was doing everything for this chick they were engaged and he was giving her the perfect life and she wasnt contributing at all he didnt care because he loved her and knew she had somethings going on. and he found out she was cheating and what she said to him was crazy, she said something along the lines of " you were just being to good for me, to perfect " sooo that causes people to cheat and not do what they are suppose to ? now the man is scared ya know this isnt the first time a chick did him in so now he's doing him and i feel bad for him because he's a really good guy, and he could make some chick happy but too make women messed him over and its like the him i knew wont be back and its crazy. so i take it people dont realize what they do to people and how they can potentially ruin them emotionally and mentally, because to him he's just chillin but its like the changes are so evident that you like damn good guy gone bad and its sad. yeah i took in a lot today right. but its like i was saying before is that what we've come to ? you gotta keep your mate guessing ? act shitty and everything else that you shouldnt do ? maaan cuz honestly i dont believe in that treatment i think you should love whole hearted as long as you gettin some sort of respect and love in return but after hearing people talking about it and knowing the things that i know that people have done maybe im the one who's got the ideas of what should happen in a relationship fucked up, i mean but treatin ya mate just bogus , man seriously ?? i think some growing up is in order or honestly maybe im just plain stupid in theory but who knows....
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well to be honest I cant say I agree or disagree with that statement. Coming from previous situations where I was on both sides of the spectrum I can see where they are coming from with the whole cheating thing and that it may make people want to cheat. But coming from the other end of being the "Number 1" I have to say that it's not the case in all instances I tend to think that people are limited to speaking of their own personal experiences and biases are aren't really subject to think of situations that they themselves were in when they were in either position to see what they did or what they didn't do. Honestly I think it depends on what you do or how you act towards the person while making them number 1 and also how they perceive the treatment.. me when I was the #1 I sure the hell didn't recognize it cause I was more concerned with my own issues (ironically not cheating, or any of the above mentioned examples). I think that perhaps all situations are different and should be treated as such because when one listens to everyone else, honestly, it ends up coming out that being single is the best way to go. And if that was the case then why are they in relationships? - Til next time take care of yourself and eachother "Jerry Springer"
ReplyDelete(come on jerry lol)...and yeah some people do listen to other people and in that case they do end up staying single because they chose to listen to there friends instead of thinking with there head and there heart analyzing there own facts.if everyone did listen to everyone else thats the crabs in the bucket effect. in the case of this blog convo that i wrote about im only talking about people who make the decision on there own, who try and try and yet they end up hurt many times over. those mentioned one thing about them is outside influence didnt help make a choice or anything, these people know not to just go off what others have said because people speak from outside looking in, thats a life lesson im sure many know. and yeah each situation is different this is true but once again for the sake of this blog we are speaking of those who did it by the book. no one is 100 percent perfect but they sure in the hell tried to be but when it comes down to the end facts are just that facts. and then it goes that sure each situation can be different but if we are talking about yours then we are not talking in reference to the blog thats another subject im strickly on the topic of what i was writing about and the actions that came with it. now in reference to those who told me i was crazy in my personal opinion thats closed minded thinking and also a wall so that if they are hurt they can say good thing i didnt do this and this for that person but in my opinion if you do that then you werent fully committed to the relationship because you dated with the pretense that it was gonna go sour instead of hoping that this relationship will be the last. and also in reference to number 1 feels like the players game talk so i wont say number 1 i will say only 1 for sake of this blog as well.
ReplyDeletehuh? Actually my comment was in reference to the blog in general and didn't speak in a bias to personal experience but neutrally regarding the situation
ReplyDeleteand i didnt say it wasnt. my comment was agreeing with yours,and also adding to yours and my blog. i did it all in one. so no i didnt take it as you are being bias to personal experiences not at all. what you did write about from your personal experience added to the blog its a section that didnt open up yet. but like i said i see you on your response in respect as to how people view things and i also gave my 2 cent in addition to yours as to why
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