i dont expect people to understand

i really dont expect people to understand but yet i feel like people dont give me enough credit to trust what im doing. i love hard and when i say this i mean everyone from friends, to family, to lovers. so in doing this i go the extra mile for all because i hate for people to struggle in anyway and if i can make there life easier then so be it. there arent to many people that are in a situation that i havent experienced, but yet when i went through it there was no one in my corner. i can say that ive been blessed, ive been double hard to get where i need to be and at the same time being there for those who needed me in there corner. there are so many jokes about me especially being captain save a hoe but thats cool because most of those who talk the shit dont have one in there corner so they wont understand but for the ones who do and yet you comment on others i mean seriously, do you not realize the same was done for you. but like i said i dont expect people to understand but at least try to feel me. as ive said at 25 ive lived a story that most people cant sit through, get put in institutions for but for me its ok. i hope and pray for better days and i always promised god that i wouldnt let his children whom i can reach struggle the way that i have because the pain is unbearable and only the strong survive. in the same token to an extent ive become a parent in a sense and by this i mean that its like when a parent needs to start loosing the ropes on there child because its time for the child to fly they dont. and im way guilty of that on all occasions, family, friends, and lovers. i guess it goes with me tryin to keep good on my promise and me not wanting people to hurt like i have i keep everyone close but i guess the fear of failing them and they hitting rock bottom and them not knowing what to do because honestly blog i know so many weak minded people its crazy. its like why are you so weak you dont know what pain is but yet, we all know pain just on different levels that we ourselves call the worst pain ever. but ive realized that i have to loosen my ropes, my children wont grow and my family wont bond, and my lovers wouldnt turn into lovers, if i continued to be the parent. my intentions are good but i guess whats good to me is dumb to everyone else and like i said thats fine because i dont expect people to understand because they arent me. hell outside looking in i'd probably slighty think damn you a dumb one breaking yo back for all these people, putting your wants, needs, dreams, desires to the side to help out lovers, going the extra mile for your friends, damn you really do to much but i'dd really be thinking when does he make time for him. and thats whats been missing. ive been so focused on trying to help everyone in my life get straight and make all there lives easier (which i have done somewhat) that i do what needs to be done for me, but what about what i want. i guess no one really seems to care because despite what people may be going through if you love me like you say you do, then you'd be their for me no matter what, not leaving me hanging in cold to figure my own shit out, but then again isnt that what children do to parents, to hell with the parent because usually its all about the children all the time. but just as i said i dont expect people to understand my actions, i do what i feel is right but its funny because people pass judgment but yet have no rights to do so. its time for mister wimbles to worry about mister wimbles because no one else is giving a damn about me. thats a proven fact. but no one will ever understand my reasoning until the take a walk in my shoes, then they can see how the boy who has been left alone to struggle on his own for majority of his life just didnt want his loved ones to end up doing the same in anyway, so yeah people in this world talk about me if you want its cool, its real, but im acting out of the kindness of my heart and reaching a low you know nothing about so sue me, but its like ive said before i dont expect people to understand and honestly im glad they wont be able to because that means you havent been near where i have and i thank god you havent...